Let’s be honest — we’ve all had one of those nights.

One minute you’re screaming “Outside no dey finish!” at 4AM, next thing you know it’s 10:12AM, your head is pounding, your room’s spinning, and it feels like DJ Obi just scratched through your brain.

Lagos nightlife isn’t for the faint of heart. And the aftermath? Whew — that’s where champions are made.

Whether you ended up sweaty at Vaniti, raving till sunrise on a VI rooftop, or mysteriously waking up in Banana Island with no clue how you got there — this is your official survival guide to recovering like a Lagos pro.

Step 1: Accept the Chaos

No judgment. You were outside. You did the most. Possibly rapped on someone’s Snap. We’ve all been there. Accept your fate, laugh through the shame, and for the love of everyone — delete that Amapiano freestyle clip.

Step 2: Rehydrate Like It’s an Olympic Sport

That Sahara feeling in your throat? That’s equal parts dehydration and regret.

  • Water: You already know.
  • Coconut water: Elite tier recovery. Nature’s hangover IV drip.
  • ORS: Your unproblematic backup dancers — zero drama, maximum results.

Step 3: Food Your Body Can Actually Handle

This is not the time for spicy risks or swallowing heavy carbs like a gladiator.

  • Oats or custard: Zero chewing. Zero stress.
  • White rice + soft stew: Comfort food for your damaged liver. Optional plantain for the bold.
  • Bananas: Potassium kings. Also mood boosters.

Step 4: Image Control Mode Activated

Time to clean up your digital footprint.

  • Archive any Instagram Stories that scream “HR violation.”
  • Post a calm, wholesome photo: coffee mug, books, gym selfie (whether real or imagined).
  • Lie if you must: “Just left the gym” is Lagos’s universal damage control phrase.

Step 5: Destroy the Evidence

It’s time to CSI your own phone like a jealous ex.

  • Sent a “wyd” to your ex at 2AM? Block yourself.
  • Videos of you dancing on a speaker? Delete. On sight.
  • Accidentally texted your boss “Outsideeee”? Just update your CV.

Step 6: Reset Your Soft Life

Recovery isn’t just physical — it’s spiritual.

  • Go for a slow walk and rethink your life choices.
  • Book a massage or beg your friend with magical hands.
  • Throw your phone on DND, grab some chin-chin, and binge Nollywood classics until the shame subsides.

Lagos nights are a contact sport. But the recovery? That’s the real test of your Lagos citizenship. The good news? You always get to come back stronger, softer, and more dramatic.

Because remember:

It’s not about how hard you partied. It’s about how elegantly you rise from the ashes.